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Fistful of Frags - The Chad Gun and How to Use It

Created by Pizza_Parker_vevo   ::   May 19, 2020    


Hey you are you insecure about your massively oversized penis? Do you need a pathetic weapon to compensate for this? Then fear not as the Volcanic is the perfect weapon for you! In this comprehensive guide i will give you a few tips and tricks on how to be a Chad.

Introduction



Out of all of the guns in FoF, the Volcanic has to be my favourite. When i joined my first game i picked it and proceeded to, as the cool kids say "get curb stomped until my frontal lobe was turned into a paste", ever since then this gun has had a special place in my heart.

Unreliable Statistics



(Take these "stats" with a grain of salt because if you have not guessed i just sorta eye-balled it)

Accuracy:

basically as accurate as the news about coronavirus (that jokes gonna age well), which for all you number plebs translates to like around 60%, which for all you non number plebs translates to bad

Damage/Fall Off:

if you hit a chest shot at short to medium range than the amount of damage would basically be the same as the life expectancy of countries in sub-Saharan Africa (high 30s to low 40s), at longer ranges body shots and medium ranged limb shot do around 11-19 damage. Head shots at medium to close would do about 60-70 damage which is the actual life expectancy of sub-Saharan Africa and head shot damage at longer ranges is irrelevant because you wont be hitting them.

Ammo/Fire Rate:

The volcanic has a capacity of 9 rounds which is above the limit remember to drive safely guys, it also has a reasonable reload which is about the same as revolvers except a tiny bit faster. Speaking of faster the fire rate is about as fast as your car before you crash it into an orphanage because you were feeling like a bit of a rebel and decided to not follow road safety rules and drive above the limit.

Points:

Getting a kill with the volcanic gives 17 points which is very good for those that plan to climb leader boards.

Uses?



The Volcanic pistol makes a great paper weight to stop all your taxes from getting blown away because you totally do taxes. Many DIY enthusiasts insist that the barrel makes a great pencil holder in case your desk needs to look a little more aesthetic. For any ladies out their you can probably use it to pierce your ears if your fine with tinnitus as a small side affect. In all seriousness the Volcanic can be a viable choice for anyone that wants to either: a) show how good they are at the game by decking an entire server with a literal peashooter, b) just want to mess around with a clearly under powered weapon, c) compensate for genitals so large they cant find a suitable partner that is willing to take it, or d) just want to try it out. If fit into any of the above than please refer to the section below to get started on your spiritual journey to chadness.

Play Styles



The Volcanic being such a unique weapon actually sorta has a lot of play styles, these are the ones that i have found...

The "Strafe-by"

Using the right hand perk it allows you to have complete accuracy while moving, combine this with the high ammo capacity and high fire rate you can become the wild west version of a bunch of black dudes in a lowrider with an uzi. The whole idea is to be stupid mobile and hopefully pick a few people off and maybe even third party a few people if your feeling brave. Avoid anywhere inside as you cant fan. Probably suited for those that love to go on big wacky adventures around the map but want to stay away from close range duels.

The "Great Fan of Spam"

The polar opposite of the strafe by, equip the fanning perk and then your set. This play style is a very flexible ambush sort of thing with bar sharks and chest campers being most likely to use it. Be aware though, it punishes mobility so make sure you know were any whiskey is and avoid going outside. Incels will love this loadout as you dont have to go outside much with it.

The "Mexican Cleaning Lady"

Its called that because if used correctly it can clean out an entire room. It involves no perks, does not require anything but $40, the access to a gold chest, and enough people to shoot 18 bullets at. if you haven't guessed its dual volcanics, probably the most versatile out of all the play styles. Spraying frozen peas into dirty infidels that have yet to discover the power of the volcanic has never felt so good.



Created by Pizza_Parker_vevo.